It takes a village.

Apparently some Judgy McJudgesons have got their knickers in a twist about the fact that Rachael Finch’s mother looks after her two-year-old daughter from Friday night until Sunday morning each weekend.

I’d like to take a moment to ask that we actually acknowledge this woman’s bravery at coming out and telling us this. I for one am glad she did.

Why? Because it’s a brilliant example of radical self-care. How many of us said something along the lines of ‘all I want for Mother’s Day is a day off’? How many of us are often exhausted and feel overwhelmed with our lot as parents?

Nova described the arrangement as ‘unconventional’. Is it?? Why is that? What happened to ‘it takes a village to raise a child’? Maybe if we all had that village to call on for support we would not be continually physically and mentally drained.

Rachael and her husband obviously trust their baby’s maternal grandmother to care for her daughter, and I’d say there’s a good chance that their child actually benefits from this time. She is 2 years old, not 2 weeks old. She would understand that Mum and Dad are coming back to get her. I’d like to think that they show up on Sunday morning refreshed, re-energised and ready to spend a beautiful day as a family.

Just because they want part of the weekend to themselves does not mean that they are out clubbing (and even if they were, so what). Perhaps it means that they are taking that time to re-connect and nurture their relationship. I know from experience that the best thing a baby can have is two parents who feel connected, aligned and in love. It takes conscious effort to make sure that life doesn’t just get in the way and suddenly you are worlds apart.

If you are someone who can be ‘on’ as a parent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I truly take my hat off to you. I am not one of those people. I would give my life for my daughter, and I know that for me showing her love means loving myself also. I cannot pour from an empty cup.

We know next-to-nothing about Rachael Finch’s situation. She may have her own private battles and issues to deal with, as do we all. Perhaps she has chosen to be a totally present mother five nights a week, rather than a frazzled and emotional one seven nights a week. Which is better? As long as her baby is safe and well, then I believe that it’s none of our damn business.

Need a good-vibes-only place to connect? This group is the place to be. 

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